Egrotatio
by GaterGina71
Summary: A weapon affecting a member of sg1 has serious consequences and hints to thier future. There is no vid available as of yet.
1. Ch 1 thru 7

Egrotatio 

Author: Ginalynn71 Number of Parts:  
Setting: season 7 before Heroes Category: Team fic, Drama, h/c, angst Age: 13+ Pairings: J/S hints of Dan/Jan Spoilers: mild for all seasons up to s7 Author Notes: This is my first long fiction. Feedback greatly appreciated and answered. Any medical mistakes are mine. A Warning for some imagery, medical issues. Please read the authors notes at end of the story. Thoughts are in / There is a video to go with this story "where your road leads" by Trisha Yearwood, video by Synopsis: A weapon affecting a member of SG-1 gives a hint to Jack's future.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG1 and the characters are property of their respective owners. I make no money from this.

Chapter 1

Jack flinched as they walked backed to the stargate. He had his right arm pressed against his side, trying to support himself. The pain was more of an annoyance than anything, but any time he did anything strenuous, it got a bit worse.

Daniel noticed Jack's small grimace and spoke up. "Jack? You okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Pulled a muscle or something. I'm fine." Jack replied. /God, I'm getting old if I can't even handle a simple, boring recon mission/

"Have you seen Janet about it, sir?" Sam questioned.

"No, mom. It's just a strained muscle. I'll put some heat on it when we get back. Heat and ibuprofen. I'll be good in no time." Jack hated having to see the doctor after any mission and tried to avoid it at all costs. Something as simple as this wasn't going to have him in the little power monger's clutches if it really wasn't necessary.

They arrived at the gate and Daniel proceeded to dial them home. Once on the other side, General Hammond was waiting, pleased to see them safe.

"SG-1, welcome home. How'd it go on P32-775?" Hammond asked.

"Fine, sir." Jack answered. "No natives, bad guys, technology, nada, nothing. Oh, wait, trees, trees, and more trees. Some rocks. Carter and Daniel took some samples, but it was rather uneventful, sir."

"Very well, get to the infirmary, and we'll debrief at 1300." Hammond said, smirking. He knew Jack hated these kinds of missions.

Jack, Daniel, Sam and Teal'c left their weapons with the sf's and proceeded to the infirmary for their post mission physical. "Hey Janet." Sam walked in and proceeded to find a bed, as did the rest of the team.

"Okay you know the drill. Sleeves up for blood work. How was the mission? Anything interesting?" Janet looked at Sam first, checking for any sign of injury or illness.

"Not really, place was pretty deserted. No one around, no buildings, nothing." Daniel spoke as Janet checked him next. She continued with Teal'c and found them to all be fine. She saved Jack for last, as usual, just so she could torture him a little more than the rest. "Sir, I need your arm." She said firmly.

"Why? You have two of your own." Jack replied. Daniel snorted and Sam smiled at Jack's comment. Teal'c just looked at him, not being able to understand how such a formidable warrior could be so afraid of a small woman.

"Colonel, please." Janet asked with a hint of annoyance. Jack finally rolled up his sleeve and Janet got his blood sample. "Okay, you all seem good. You can go."

"What about your side, Jack?" Daniel realized what he had done as soon as the words left his mouth. "Uh, oh, sorry, Jack." Daniel jumped off the stretcher and bolted from the infirmary, before Jack could lay into him for opening his mouth.

"Well, what about it, sir?" Janet asked. "What's going on?"

"Ah, it's nothing. Just pulled something." Jack said, hoping he would find a way to kill Daniel before the end of the day. /He's so dead. Wait, Dannyboy, just wait/

"Let's see." Janet helped Jack remove his shirt and helped him lay down on the bed. She pressed the area he pointed at on his right side, just below his rib cage. He jumped a bit, and let out a hiss. "Right there? No other problems?" Janet helped him back up.

"No. It's no big deal. Really." Jack was irritated now and he put his shirt back on.

"Well, here's some ibuprofen, and put some heat on it for a few days. If it doesn't get better by then come see me. And take it easy." Janet signed off on their charts and they were free to go.

"Hungry, sir?" Sam asked. Her stomach made it apparent to everyone, and she asked them to join her.

"Nah, I'm going to go lie down and plan ways to hurt Daniel while the meds kick in." Jack turned and started towards his base quarters.

"I would be happy to join you." Teal'c nooded.

"Okay, sir. Hope you feel better." Sam called after him. /That's weird. He never refuses to eat after a mission./ "Come on, Teal'c, more for us"  
A short time later Janet received the lab reports on SG-1's blood work. She opened each folder, scanned it for anything out of the ordinary, and went on to the next one. When she got to Jack's she paused and read it twice before closing it. /Oh, no. That's not good/  
She put the folder down and picked up the phone. "Could you page Colonel O'Neill for me please? Thank you."

Chapter 2

Jack was paged to the infirmary. "For crying out loud!" he protested. All he wanted to do was relax in his quarters. He strolled into the infirmary and called for Janet. "Hey doc? What's up?"

"Sir, I received the reports on your blood work today, is there anything you left out?" Janet had the mother hen look going on, and Jack knew he would not be able to pull the wool over her eyes for too long.

"You mean something besides the muscle thing? Ah…" he said without looking at her.

"Colonel, I really need to know." /This man is impossible./

"Yeah well, I guess I've been a little tired. Appetite's not so hot." Jack spoke.

"How long?" she questioned.

"A few days, maybe a week." He returned.

"Sir, I know you like your beer. And with your job I can understand the need to wind down after hard missions, but have you been drinking in excess lately?" She was concerned, and Jack could see it.

"No more than usual. Mostly." he said.

"Are you sure? I did the tests, and your liver enzyme tests were a bit high. Is alcohol becoming a problem? Or something else?" She looked at him with a sense of disappointment. She had seen his service record, and she knew his history of drug abuse after his captivity in Iraq.

"Absolutely not Doctor Fraiser!" Jack almost yelled at her. "No way. I would never put my team in that kind of danger!"

"Sir, okay, relax, I just have to ask. I am going to run some more tests. I won't put you on stand down, but if it gets worse, please let me know." Janet told him. She put her hand on his arm, trying to calm him.

"If you need to. Stick away." He was so not happy having to get more blood drawn, but he knew he did not have a choice. "Oh, doc, can we keep this between us for now. I don't want to get everyone in an uproar if it's not necessary."

"Yes, for now. I won't say anything to the General till I get the results." She assured him.

Jack left the infirmary and went back to his quarters. The ibuprofen didn't seem to be helping, but at least he knew why. He flopped on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. /How the hell did this happen/

An hour later, the phone in his room rang. He groggily reached over and picked it up. "What?" he exclaimed.

"Colonel, it's me, Janet. We have a bigger problem than we thought." Her voice came from the other end of the phone.

"Oh crap." Jack said, as he hung up the phone.

Chapter 3

Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c walked into the briefing room to find General Hammond, Jack, and Janet sitting at the table, their expressions rather grim.

"Sir, you asked to see us?" Sam asked. Her, Daniel and Teal'c took their seats.

"Thank you for coming. Dr. Fraiser has some information concerning Colonel O'Neill I think we all need to hear. Doctor..." Hammond gestured for Janet to begin.

"As you know the Colonel was complaining of a muscle sprain. After receiving initial lab reports, I had him return to the infirmary for more tests. I found something in his blood work that is rather serious." Janet reported. "His liver enzymes were rather high, and after the second tests, it has become apparent that he is suffering from liver cirrhosis. It is in second stage, so I have to confine him to the base for further testing. I also would like to run more tests on all of you to see if you have been affected. Your initial labs were fine, but I want to be sure."

The group sat in silence for a while, not really knowing what to say. Daniel chose to speak first. "Uh, how did this happen? I mean, we always have labs done after each mission, so…"

"Well, it could have happened between the last two. I'm not really sure." Janet said. "I'd like all of you on stand down until we figure this out. I don't have any idea what's causing it, or if it's some kind of virus, such as hepatitis. General, I think we should test everyone just to be sure. We have seen what can happen in contamination situations before."

"Certainly Doctor, SG-1, you're on stand down until further notice. Do whatever you can to find out what's going on." Hammond told her, as he got up and left the briefing room.

"Okay everyone, back to the infirmary." Janet ordered. SG-1 rose from the table and followed Janet. Once again, they took their spots on stretchers and had blood drawn. "I'll let you know as soon as I get the results. Sam, you Daniel and Teal'c can go, but Colonel I'd like to talk to you."

"Come on, doc. Is this necessary?" Jack whined.

"Jack, be nice. She's just trying to help." Daniel said as he was leaving. /He's trying to hide the fact he's worried/

"Yeah, yeah. I'll catch up to you later." Jack wiped his hand through his hair. "Okay, doc. Fire away."

"I want to start you on some medication; I want to try to stop this before it gets any worse. The liver can't heal itself, so once the damage is done, it's done. I am going to give you Interferon. It will have some side effects. Fatigue, aches, diarrhea. If it gets bad, let me know. Make sure you stay hydrated, and try to eat healthy. Absolutely under no circumstances are you to have any alcohol. I will get in touch with you later." Janet gave him the meds and wrote some notes down in his chart. She noticed that Jack wasn't leaving as fast as he normally would.

"Look, uh, how sick am I gonna get?" he asked. "This internation…"

"Interferon. I don't know, really. But we will figure it out. Try to get some rest." Janet tried to comfort him.

/Easy for you to say. Your body isn't going wacko/ He departed the infirmary with a sloppy salute. "Yes, ma'am."

Jack walked around the base for a while, looking for something to do. He found himself outside Sam's lab. He raised his hand to knock, but decided against it.

"Sir, you can come in." Sam called out. Jack slowly came around into view and stepped into the lab.

"Whatcha doing?" he inquired, fiddling with something metallic on the desk.

"Just some tests on the samples we took on the planet." Sam looked at him, knowing there was more he either needed or wanted to share. "We haven't found anything yet." /Spill it, I can tell you want to talk/

Jack put down what he was playing with and walked around the desk. "Oh."

"Sir? Are you alright?" Concerned for her commanding officer, and her... friend, she gave him a look that told him she needed to know how he was handling this.

"Carter, I've been sick before. I've been dead before. It has all worked out one way or another, but this is, I don't know, different." His voice was quiet, and he glanced at her quickly and looked back down.

/Okay, he's actually showing fear. Oh, Jack/ "How do you mean, sir?" Sam put down her papers and got up from her seat to go stand next to him.

"I've seen what happens to people with this disease. Had an uncle who died from it. Not pretty." Jack's tone was flat.

"Sir, you're not going to die. We will do whatever needs to be done." Sam tried to reassure Jack. He gave her a small smile, and she knew it wasn't sincere. "Do you want to eat something?"

Jack nodded, "Yeah. Doc says to make sure I eat even though I really don't feel like it."

"There's a first. All the pie on base should be safe." Sam tried to make the mood a bit lighter. "Come on." They left her lab and went to down to the commissary.

Chapter 4

The next morning Daniel and Teal'c were in the commissary eating breakfast.  
"Nothing like powdered eggs made in a square pan." Daniel gruffed and made a face.

Sam walked in right at that moment, and saw Daniel's brow furrowed and his mouth slightly opened. /Jeez, Daniel you keep doing that with your forehead and you'll need botox/  
Daniel spit the eggs into a napkin. "Hey Sam."

"Hi Daniel, Teal'c. Not too tasty, huh?" Sam grabbed a coffee and sat down with the men. "Have you seen the colonel?"

"Uh, no not yet." Daniel replied.

"I am finding O'Neill disturbed concerning his recent health assessment. It is rather unlike him." Teal'c stated as he placed a piece of grapefruit in his mouth.

"I know. I spoke to him yesterday and he told me that he lost an uncle to liver cirrhosis. From what I gathered, it's a terrible way to die. I told him we were doing everything we could." She looked at them, sipping her coffee.

Jack came into the commissary and gave a nod to his team as he took some Fruit loops and milk off the counter. He joined them at their table and poured his milk over his cereal.

"Morning, sir." Sam greeted.

"Hey Jack. Is that considered healthy?" Daniel quizzed.

"Probably not. But it's edible." Jack said. He pushed his cereal around with his spoon.

"Is there something wrong with your breakfast choice, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked him.

"No, it's fine T." Jack's replied with a bit of attitude. Sam noticed he was looking a bit off color.

"Sir, did you see Janet yet today?" she asked.

"No Carter. I haven't." Jack replied coldly.

"Jack you look a bit pale. Maybe you should go..." Daniel began.

Jack slammed his spoon into the bowl and milk sloshed out. "Look, I don't need you hovering over me." Jack was being rather loud and the entire commissary was looking at him. He pushed back his chair and stood up.

"O'Neill, we are your friends and we are concerned about..." Teal'c said, frowning.

"T, I'm fine, just fine..." Jack's voice trailed off as he turned to leave.  
Before anyone could reach him, he was laid out on the floor.

"Colonel!" Sam shouted. She took two long strides and was bent over him. "Sir, wake up! Can you hear me? Sir?"

"Oh damn. Call Dr. Fraiser, now!" Daniel yelled. Teal'c stood over Sam and Jack and tried to prevent others from getting too close.

Sam reached for Jack's wrist and took his pulse. "His pulse is rapid. Sir, please, wake up!"

A minute later Janet and two orderlies came running down the hall. "Sam, what happened?" Janet checked his breathing and his pulse again. "Let's get him out of here and to the infirmary." The orderlies picked him up and placed him on a stretcher. "Let's go people." Janet ordered.

"Janet, what is it?" Daniel asked her, grabbing her arm.

"I'm not sure. I haven't gotten his labs from yesterday, I have to check them. Look, I really need to go." She said as she quickly walked out.  
The members of SG-1 followed Janet and her patient. She held up her hand to stop them from going further into the infirmary. They acknowledged her without a word. Sam slumped against the wall. Daniel went to her side and grabbed her hand. He looked at her, and she returned his sentiment with a nod.

"He is strong, he will survive." There was an assurance in Teal'c's voice, but Sam and Daniel couldn't be so sure. Something inside of them sensed this time would be different, a sense that neither of them would admit.

An hour later, Janet came out of the room. She saw Sam standing against the wall, Daniel sitting on the floor with his head in his hands, and Teal'c was stoic, standing in his usual posture.

Sam jumped up when she saw Janet. By the look on her face, Sam knew the news wasn't going to be anything she wanted to hear.

"His tests reveal his liver is quickly deteriorating. It is having trouble filtering the toxins in his blood, and those toxins are affecting the rest of his body. We have started him on lactulose, which will help break down the ammonia. Right now that's all we can do. I am going to do a cat scan later to see how much damage has been done. He's resting, but if you want to see him it can only be for a few minutes." Janet seemed at a loss for anything else to say.

"Um, what about ours? Are we...?" Daniel asked her.

"You are all fine. Whatever it is, it's only affecting the Colonel. We have to figure out why." She led them back to Jack.

The three friends stood around Jack's bed not speaking.

"Sir, we are here. I promise we will find out what's happening. Janet's working her butt off to help you. You'll be okay." Sam whispered.

General Hammond came in and joined the group beside Jack's bed. "I have been informed of the Colonel's condition. We should discuss our options in finding a way to help him."

They left and proceeded to the briefing room.

"Any suggestions?" Hammond asked as they all sat down.

"Janet said it had to have occurred on one of the last two planets we visited. What if we go back? Maybe we missed something." Daniel suggested.

"Yes, sir, I agree with Daniel. We have to try." Sam pleaded.

"I agree. I want as much information as you can get on these planets. Be ready in two hours people." Hammond said.

Chapter 5

The gate on P27-886 opened and three quarters of SG-1 stepped through. The group walked down the stairs leading from the gate.

"Okay Daniel, last time we were here we didn't find anything. Look for anything and everything that may seem out of the ordinary. We aren't leaving until we have a definitive answer." Sam declared.

They walked for half a day, going much farther than the first visit. Coming up over a small hill, Teal'c noticed to his right an area about a mile away that looked like ruin of a small city. "There, to the right!" Teal'c pointed out.

"I see it. Let's go check it out." Daniel seemed to get a little hopeful in that moment. /I hope we find something. I didn't come back from glowy land so I could lose my best friend/

A short time later they arrived at the ruins. "Be careful, Daniel." Sam called as he walked quickly through the old buildings.

"Who ever lived here left a long time ago. It seems they left in a hurry, too." Daniel told them. "Sam! Sam, come here, look at this!"

Sam walked over to Daniel who was looking at some inscriptions on a partially fallen wall. "Isn't that...latin?" she asked.

"Yes, sort of." Daniel was getting excited as he scanned the writings.

"ColonelCarter, DanielJackson, I believe I have found something." Teal'c called over to them. Sam and Daniel got to where he was standing as he lifted up some very old pieces of paper. "What do you believe these say?"

"This is also latin derivative. There is also some Ancient, too. Hang on, let me see..." Daniel scanned the pages. "Oh crap...this is bad."

"What Daniel?" Sam asked him.

"It says 'the terrible...uh...egrotatio'...oh no." Daniel's face fell as he continued to read. "Egrotatio means disease, or sickness. The people that lived here, they all died. I think it was a plague. Jack's got the same thing that killed these people. It's all right here. The same basic symptoms, all of it."

"That's why these last few planets have been uninhabited. They are all in the same area of the galaxy." Sam said.

"But how could this affect Colonel O'Neill? This plague occurred many thousands of years ago." Teal'c inquired.

"I don't know, but we need to get back to the SGC now!" Sam said. They left the ruins and headed for the gate.

"Incoming wormhole!" Sergeant Harriman announced. "It's SG-1, sir."

"Open the iris." Hammond ordered. He went to the gate room to meet the team, hoping they had some information.

Sam, Daniel and Teal'c came through the event horizon. The expressions on their faces were a look of panic.

"SG-1 what did you find?" Hammond asked.

"Sir, we found ruins on the planet we didn't see on the first trip. We checked them out and found this." Sam held up the papers for Hammond to see.

"They tell of a civilization, sir. And a plague. That's why the last few planets have been empty. They all were killed." Daniel told him.

"This means?" Hammond was getting impatient.

"It's a virus. A virus used to kill people. Entire planets, sir. That's what the Colonel has." Sam finished.

"Let's get this information to Doctor Fraiser. I don't know if it will help, but it's something." Hammond led them away to see the doctor.

Hammond and the others arrived at the infirmary. Janet had been notified they were coming and was waiting for them.

"What do you have?" Janet asked them.

"It's caused by a virus Janet. The planet was annihilated by it. Everyone was killed." Sam was looking tired now. It wasn't what anyone wanted to hear.

"All right, it's something. This kind of disease isn't generally caused by a virus but I can look for something in the Colonel that may be the reason he is the only one affected." Janet told them.

"Janet, can we see him?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but only for a while." A somber look crossed Janet's face as she continued, "I have to tell you, he doesn't look good."

"Okay. Thanks Janet." They replied together and went to see Jack.

Pulling back the curtain, Sam let out a small gasp as she looked down at Jack's sleeping body. His face was ashen, and he suddenly looked very old. Daniel wrapped his arm around her and squeezed. Sam remembered that General Hammond was in the room and quickly regained her composure. Daniel was at a loss for words, and Teal'c actually looked angry.

"Whoever has created this virus has succeeded in causing distress for a significant time. We must find a way to defeat this virus, and those who may have created it." Teal'c stated.

"Right now, Teal'c we have to help Colonel O'Neill. That's our first objective." Hammond spoke up. "I want all of you to get some rest. That's an order. You can leave the base if you like, since you are all clean, but be back in 48 hrs. If there is any change we will call you."

"Thank you sir." Sam stood at attention as Hammond left.

Chapter 6

The group stayed for a while before hitting the showers. Daniel met Sam in the hall outside the locker room.

"Hey Daniel." Sam greeted. "Are going home?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to do." Daniel sadly replied. "I can't believe this, Sam. I feel like I'm starting to get back to normal, and remember things, and the rug is being pulled out from under me."

"I feel lost, too. All we can do is sit and watch him get sicker." Sam and Daniel walked down the hall towards the elevator.

"Sam, what about your Dad? Or the Asgard?" Daniel inquired. "Could they help?"

"I can ask the General if he would let me try to contact them. I don't think it would hurt. I'll do that now, and I'll let you know, okay?" Sam turned in the other direction and down the hall.

"Okay Sam. I'll see ya later." He called after her. Daniel went to his quarters and lay down to try and sleep, but the sleep wouldn't come. /Damn. This is ridiculous. What universal rule did I break to deserve this/

A knock came to his door and he rose to answer it. Opening the door he saw Sam standing in front of him. "Hey. Come in."

"I brought coffee. I figure you'd like some." Sam offered it to Daniel. He took the coffee and another knock came to the door. This time it was Teal'c.

"I am finding it difficult to sleep. As are you, I see." Teal'c entered the room at Daniel's gesture.

"Sam was going to try to contact the Asgard and Jacob. Maybe they can help." Daniel told him.

"I left a message for my dad, but he's on a mission. I don't know when he'll actually get it. I tried the Asgard, but no luck." Sam said.

"Well, you tried, Sam." Daniel told her. He wrapped his arms around his middle and sat down on the couch in the office.

"Yeah, well. We'll see." She replied, sighing.

The phone in Daniel's office rang and he sprang off the couch to answer it.

"Dr. Jackson...okay, thanks." He hung up the phone and looked at Sam and Teal'c. "He's awake."

They practically ran to see Jack, almost plowing over people in their path. Arriving at the infirmary, they saw the curtain pulled around Jack's bed. After a moment, Janet pulled back he curtain and motioned for them to come over.

Jack was awake, and looked at his team standing around his bed. He opened his mouth to speak, but his words were jumbled. "Ss...si..."

"Yes, sir. You are very sick. It's your liver, and it's getting worse. We went back to one of the planets, and found some information that may help us." Sam told him. "We are doing all we can sir."

"Dan...wha..." Jack was having trouble speaking, and he was getting upset.

Janet spoke up, "The ammonia levels in his blood are increasing, and it's affecting his brain. His ability to speak and think correctly is fading."

"Not rrrit, Da...away..." Jack looked confused, and kept looking back and forth between Janet and Daniel.

"No, sir, he came back, remember? A few months ago. It's okay, Daniel's really here." The doctor tried to reassure Jack.

"Janet what's that about?" Daniel was the one looking confused now.

"His memory is also being affected. We did a cat scan of his brain, too, and it seems he has suffered a TIA, which is a small stroke. He may remember things from years ago, but not yesterday. It's all related to this virus, and what's happening. I've been trying to figure it out, but all the tests and research I'm doing on the information you gave me hasn't given me anything to work with." Janet was looking exhausted and frustrated.  
"I am sure you are doing your best Dr. Fraiser." Teal'c said.

"I'm going to get back to work. One of you can stay with him, but please try to take care of yourselves, too." Janet walked away to continue her fight against whatever was making Jack sick.

"Daniel, Teal'c, I'll stay first. You guys go eat." Sam said.

"Okay, Sam. If you need us, just call. I don't think I'll be leaving the base." Daniel replied.

Teal'c and Daniel left them alone. Daniel went to see Janet, and Teal'c went to his quarters to try and meditate. Neither spoke a word. Before they parted company, they gave each other a look of grave concern for their friend and comrade.


	2. Chapter 8 thru 11

Chapter 8 

Sam was discouraged. Not a word had come from her father, or the Asgard. No one had any other ideas on how to help Jack. The information they got from the planet only told what this virus was, and what it did. There was no information on who created it, or if there was any specific reason why that planet and several others in that area has been devastated. Sam decided to see Janet and get word on any change in Jack's condition.

In the lab of the infirmary, Janet was leaning over a microscope when Sam came in. "Hey Janet."

"Sam, hey, I think I found something." Janet told her. "The colonel has some kind of anomaly in his genes. I don't know what it is, or why it's there but it is. This is why the virus is affecting him. No one else has it. If we can find out what this gene is, maybe we can come up with a cure."

"That's good Janet. At least we know more than we did." Sam told her. "Hey, uh, what about a liver transplant? He's a colonel in the military, he could probably get put on the list and moved up quickly."

"I don't think it will help. Having something to do with this gene, it won't matter. We'd have to find a way to eliminate that gene from his DNA." Janet sounded remorseful. "Sorry, Sam, but I had already thought of that."

"Oh. Okay. Is he awake? How is he today?" Sam asked.

"I have had to increase his meds again. His mental state is about the same. Some things he can remember well, others, not too much. Just be there for him. He needs you." Janet looked at Sam. She knew how they felt about one another, and considering the circumstances, she hoped that Jack didn't die before some kind of resolution was reached regarding those feelings.

Sam went to Jack's bedside and sat down in the chair. She reached over and grabbed his hand in hers. "Sir, it's me. We found something that might help you. So you have to hang on. Keep fighting." She sat with him for a long time, watching him breathe. /Jack, please, fight/

"Cat...Ca..." Jack's voice was rough. Sam looked up to see his eyes open, looking at her.

"Hey, sir. It's about time you woke up. My butt is numb from sitting here." She gave him a big smile. She stood up to lean over his face so he could see her better. /Oh no. Your eyes are turning yellow/ She tried not to look shocked; she didn't want to scare him.

"Moyba has a heli...hel...for butt." He tried to speak to her, but Sam had a hard time understanding him.

"What? What for my butt? Oh, a pillow? You mean a pillow? Yeah, I should ask." Sam finally figured it out. Jack gave a weak smile to her.

"Where...Charl...he..." Jack asked her.

Sam didn't know what to say to him. /How do you tell a man that his son is dead, when he can't remember him dying/ "Umm, he's..." Sam began when Janet surprised her from behind. She grabbed Sam's arm and shook her head no. Sam returned the look with a glare. Janet motioned for her to step away from the bed.

"I'll be right back sir." Sam accompanied Janet a few feet away.

"No matter what you tell him, he may not remember by tonight. We cannot afford to upset him. Lying is going to be a necessary evil in this case." Janet told her.

Sam looked over at Jack. "Are you sure? I mean, what do I tell him? He's out playing baseball?"

"If that's what you have to tell him, yes." Janet said.

A moan came from Jack's direction. "Uhhh...Chrly...where..." Janet and Sam went to his side and tried to calm him. He was trying to get up and the women held him so he wouldn't fall. "Gi...Char...me"

"He's okay. He's...outside. Playing baseball. It's okay." Sam fought back tears as he slowly laid back. She rubbed his forehead gently. "It's okay, sir. Charlie's fine."

Teal'c came in to find Sam sleeping with half her body on the bed and half in the chair. He gently shook her. "MajorCarter, you may go now. I will remain here."

"Hey Teal'c." She rubbed her face and got up to leave. "Try to go along with anything he asks for. He's very confused. He asked for Charlie."

Teal'c looked at the Colonel with despair, and then looked at Sam. "I will do my best to reassure him all is well." He gave a slight bow. Sam left the area and walked around the base, not really having a destination. After a while she decided to tell Janet, Hammond and Daniel she was going to go home to try and get some sleep.

Sam pulled up in front of her house and got out. She opened the front door and stood there for a moment. Taking a step forward, she turned and grabbed the door and slammed it shut as hard as she could. Falling back against the wood, she started crying. Sobbing, she slid to the floor. "Nooo, Jack. Not now, I can't do this." She yelled towards nothing. "I love you! You can't die on me!" In a while, her body was quite and she fell asleep, not moving from that spot by the door.

Chapter 9

The next morning Sam woke up on the floor next to her front door. She remembered that she had cried herself to sleep there. Her body was aching from the hardness of the floor./Crap, I have to remember not to sleep there again/ Getting up, she went to the kitchen to make coffee. Her phone rang, and she jumped at the sound. /Oh no. Please, don't be the SGC/

"Hello?" Sam spoke into the phone. "Oh, hi Evelyn...thanks for calling back...no, I'm just...actually I'm having a very hard time with something and I was wondering if we could get together and talk?" Sam paused for a moment before pouring her coffee. "In an hour? Uh, yeah. See you then."

Sam hung up the phone and quickly finished her coffee. She showered at a record pace and dressed. She grabbed her keys and headed towards the psychiatrist's office.

Arriving a few minutes later, she was grateful she wasn't pulled over. Exiting her car and entering the building, she recalled the last time she was here. Daniel had left them, and she had difficulty dealing with his loss. What made it more difficult was no one really knew where he went; only that he wasn't actually dead. Sam found it hard to have closure on a situation like that. Evelyn worked for the government, and she had worked with SGC personnel before. Sam liked her, she seemed more sisterly than doctor.

A receptionist greeted Sam as she entered the office. "Hi there. You are... Major Carter, right?"

"Yes." Sam replied dryly.

"Evelyn said go right in when you got here." The receptionist pointed to the door.

"Okay, thank you." Sam gave a nod and went inside.

Evelyn was in her fifties, and was attractive. She had a demeanor that made it easy to open up to her, and that was an important characteristic considering her job.

"Hey Sam. Sit down. Tell me what's going on." Evelyn said to her.

Letting out a big sigh, Sam began as she sat down. "Someone very important to me is extremely sick. It's Colonel O'Neill, Ev. He's at the base and we've tried everything to save him. Nothing is working though. He's...he's probably going to die."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Sam. It is very draining to watch someone you care about slowly die. You actually start grieving long before the actual death. You know what's coming, so..." Evelyn spoke to Sam with compassion. Being a psychiatrist, death was something she dealt with often, especially being involved with the government.

"At first, I wanted to be with him at all times, just to make sure he knew someone was there. As time goes on, a part of me still wants to be there, and a part of me can't stand being there. When I'm not there I feel guilty, when I am there I feel helpless and it sucks to sit and watch him deteriorate." Sam was crying, and Evelyn handed her some tissues.  
"What aren't you telling me about this Sam?" Evelyn asked. She could sense that there was more going on that Sam was letting on. "I know Daniel is like a brother to you, but Colonel O'Neill is your CO, right? What is so different about him? I know you are close, but what's really going on?"

Sam looked around the room. She didn't want to tell Evelyn what the real issue was. "I, uh, crap Ev."

"Sam, doctor patient privilege, remember. Unless you or your team is in jeopardy over this issue, I can't say anything." Evelyn stated as she leaned in to touch Sam's hand. "What is it?"

"I...love him. More than I ever thought I would. It's been kept quiet because of the regs, but we both have feelings for each other. Now he's dying, and we never got the chance to say it or do anything about it." Sam said.

"So you think by torturing yourself and sitting by his side as much as possible, that this incredible moment will happen between you two that will make everything okay?" The doctor looked at Sam, and waited for a response.

"I don't know. Maybe I hoped it would." Sam said softly.

"So you're going to keep beating your head against a wall for what could have been? On top of this grief? Sam, I hate to say this, but most people die the way they live. What he couldn't give you in life, he probably can't give you in death, either." Evelyn told Sam. "Have you said good-bye?"

"What? He's not dead yet!" Sam said loudly.

"If you can say it before he dies, at least you'd be able to deal with it after. Most people say it too late. Closure needs to happen before, not after someone dies." The doctor spoke to her with calmness, and she hoped Sam understood. /You had better do this soon, Sam. You'll never get over it if you don't/

A cell phone rang and both ladies checked their phones. "It's mine." Sam looked at the number and swore. "Shit. Hello? Okay, be right there."

Evelyn got up and walked to Sam. "What is it?"

"It's Jack...uh, the Colonel. I have to go. Thank you, Ev. You have helped me, I do appreciate it." Sam hugged her and ran out of the office.

Chapter 10

Teal'c was sitting in the infirmary with Jack the next morning. He was usually a calm, quiet man, but recent events had caused even him great distress. He spoke to Jack quietly, his voice heavy with emotion. "ColonelO'Neill, I am at a loss as to what to do to assist anyone in this matter. I cannot even know how accept this situation myself. You befriended me when I had nowhere to go. You placed your trust in me, when many would not. You have the gained the ability to look beyond what is on the surface, and see the depth of a soul. I cannot tell you how much I value your friendship, and to lose you would leave me with a great emptiness in my heart. Please fight, O'Neill."

Janet came over to the bedside and put her hand on Teal'c's shoulder, offering comfort. "Hi Teal'c."

"DoctorFraiser. I have seen no change in him, is he losing his fight against this disease?" Teal'c asked.

"I am afraid he is. All we can do now is keep him comfortable." She replied, checking his vital signs. "Have you seen Sam or Daniel?"

"MajorCarter went home last evening. DanielJackson is in his office working." He responded.

"Okay, thank you." Janet left the area.

Teal'c decided to go to the commissary to eat. On the way, he stopped and entered Daniel's office to invite him along. "Would you care to join me for a meal?" he asked Daniel.

"Uh, no Teal'c, thanks for asking though." Daniel sighed and sat down on a stool by his workbench.

"DanielJackson, you are not alone in your concern for your friend. I, too, am having a difficult time with it." Teal'c tried to make Daniel more at ease.

"Yeah, we all are. It just seems so stupid. Jack's fought some terrible enemies, both mentally and physically, and came through it all. Then out of the blue he gets knocked on his ass by a virus that came from God knows where. Where's the fairness in that?" Daniel looked down at the floor.

"I do not know, DanielJackson." Teal'c said.

"What makes my life so much more important than his? Why hasn't he been given a second chance like I was? He deserves it. I know it may sound selfish, but I can't lose him, Teal'c. He's the closest friend I have, aside from you and Sam. I lose everything that I love, Teal'c. Everything that has ever mattered to me is ripped away." Daniel has tears in his eyes as he spoke to Teal'c. "A person can only take so much pain in their life before they crack. If he dies, I don't know if I'd be able to continue here."

One of the SF's came rushing in to Daniel's office. "Excuse me, Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, your presence is requested in the infirmary immediately."

"Oh no." It was all Daniel could get out before he and Teal'c ran from the office.

A nurse stopped them outside the infirmary. "I'm sorry, you can't go in yet. Dr. Fraiser asked me keep you out here until she comes to get you."

Daniel and Teal'c waited for what seemed an eternity. Heavy footfalls came down the hall and Sam rounded the corner, out of breath.

"What happened? Is he...?" she looked at Daniel panicked.

"We don't know, we've been waiting for Janet to come out." Daniel said. He, Teal'c and Sam just looked at each other, not knowing what to say or do. "How did you know?"

"Janet called. She just said to get her as soon as possible." Sam started biting her thumb and pacing back and forth.

Just as General Hammond arrived, Janet came out to see the group. "About two hours ago I tried to take Colonel O'Neill's vital signs and we couldn't get a blood pressure. We gave him some meds and his pressure is up, but not much." Janet's eyes filled with tears. "If you want to be here and say..." No one said anything, and the quietly walked into the infirmary. They stood around thier sick friend, everyone fighting tears. A loud rapid beeping came from a monitor and Janet rushed to Jack's side.

"He's in b-fib. I need the paddles! Now!" Janet shouted orders at her staff. She worked feverishly to save the Colonel's life.

The friends stood back a few steps, and Sam started to cry out loud. "No!" She took a step back towards the man she loved. "No, you can't die, Jack." Sam didn't care anymore who watched her outburst.

"Sam, please..." Daniel tried to hold her back, but she pulled away from his arms.

"Jack," Sam was practically screaming now. "You son of a bitch...don't leave me like this! I love you, Jack! You fight, Jack! Do you hear me? You are a stubborn man, you fight, dammit!" This time both Daniel and Teal'c grabbed Sam and pulled her away from the bed.

Janet shouted an order for valium to give to Sam as she continued to work on Jack. Sam was still struggling as a nurse injected her with the medicine. In a few moments, Sam slid to the floor as Daniel held her. Daniel, Teal'c and even General Hammond were crying silent tears. Janet was even struggling to keep her composure as she worked on their friend and commanding officer. A few minutes later, the monitor slowed, and Janet addressed the group.

"I have him stablized again. I don't know how much longer he can take this. We have to make a decision regarding how much we want to keep doing for him. At this point, even if he survives, I don't think he'd be the same Colonel O'Neill." She told them.

General Hammond spoke up. "Colonel O'Neill has made his wishes clear on this issue. No extraordinary measures to save him."

They looked at the General, and they knew it was what Jack would want. They would try to keep him alive so his many friends and comrades had their chance to say good-bye. Then they would let him go so the great fighter could find his peace.

Chapter 11

Sam went to see General Hammond. She felt she owed him some kind of explanation for her behavior in the infirmary, knowing the repercussions of her outburst could cause her to lose her position at the SGC. She knocked on the General's door and waited for a response.

"Come in." Hammond replied to her knock. She stepped into his office and shut the door.

"General Hammond, sir. I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time." Nervously, she waited for the verbal backlash.

"At ease, Major. Please sit down." Hammond gestured towards a chair. "What's on your mind?"

"Sir, I...

wanted to apologize and explain my behavior in the infirmary today...It was very unprofessional of me. I understand if you..." Sam's voice shook.

"Major, what happened in the infirmary today will stay in the infirmary. I don't see how any good that would come out of this if I disciplined you or put it on your record." He said to Sam.

"Oh. Well, thank you, sir." She was surprised at his statement.

"And what I am about to say stays in this office, and is off the record. Understood?" Hammond spoke, and Sam just nodded. "Sam, I have known you since you were knee high to a grasshopper, and frankly I would have been more concerned if you didn't respond with some kind of emotion. This entire situation has taken its toll on all of us. Especially you. I may be close to retirement, but I'm not blind. What the two of you share is special. I know what it's like to be in love. I was married once. What I will tell you is, be smart. A love like this comes along only once in a lifetime. Don't lose it, no matter what you have to give up. Trust me, you won't regret it." Hammond looked at his major, and she had tears in her eyes. Standing up and going to her side, he placed his hand on her shoulder. "He loves you. I know it. Make sure you tell him, out loud, before..."

"Unscheduled off-world activation." The announcement came over the base and the General and Sam went to the control room.

"Who is it Walter?" Hammond asked.

"I don't know, sir. We aren't receiving a signal." Walter returned to the computer and waited for more instructions.

Daniel and Teal'c came rushing in to the room. "Who is it?" Daniel asked.

"Don't know yet." Sam replied. Daniel looked at her, noticing she had been crying again. Sam mouthed she was okay, and Daniel nodded.

"Defense teams stand by!" Hammond ordered. "Open the iris."

The iris twirled open. After a moment, Hammond, Sam, and Daniel let out a gasp as Lya stepped through the event horizon.

"Oh my god, what is she doing her?" Daniel questioned.

"Defense teams stand down!" Hammond called to the gateroom. The group proceeded down to the ramp area to greet their friend and ally.

"Lya, welcome back to Earth. Is there something we can do for you?" Daniel stated.

"I believe, Daniel it is us, who can do something for you." Lya motioned for towards the gate and Anteus and Opher stepped through. The two men came down the ramp and stood with Lya.

Anteus spoke up on behalf of the three. "We have recently been contacted by our mutual allies, the Asgard. The told us that your Colonel O'Neill is very ill. Although they cannot help you at this time, they requested we come in their place."

Sam's face still showed uncertainty. "He is dying. We have done all we can. He is so sick, I don't know..."

Lya cut her off. "You are still very young. Have you not learned that what you see is not necessarily all you have? Please show us to Colonel O'Neill."

Sam put her head down in slight embarrassment. Hammond led all of them to the infirmary.

"Janet, look who's here." Daniel called to the doctor. Janet had never met the Nox, but she was enamored by their ability for healing.

Janet came over to greet them. "He is extremely..."

"Uh Janet, just...shh." Daniel told her.

Jack's skin had a yellow tinge to it, and his breathing was shallow. No one in the room was sure if this would help him, even though the Nox had revived SG-1 on the Nox homeworld. The three aliens stood at the bedside and began their attempt to heal the Colonel. Hammond, Teal'c, Daniel, Sam and Janet stood to the side and watched them.

"I hope this works Janet." Daniel grabbed Janet's hand and held it. Janet reached out and grabbed General Hammond's, who in turn took Sam's. She looked down to see who was holding her hand, and she smiled. Then she reached over, took Teal'c's hand, and gave it a squeeze. Teal'c gave a nod in Sam's direction.

The Nox stayed by the bedside for a long time. Their images faded in and out, as they used all their effort to heal Jack. The SG-1 family stood by, not daring to move. They wanted to make sure that if the process did not work, they would be there to say goodbye.

Putting their arms back down to their sides, Lya spoke with tiredness in her voice. "He will again be well, although it will be many turns of your sun before he will completely heal."

Janet came forward and checked on Jack. His vitals were returning to normal, and his breathing was getting more regular. "Oh my god. He's coming back." Through tears, Janet gave a huge smile to the group of friends.

"We must return to our home now. We are grateful we could be of help to you." Lya said.

"Thank you Lya. You have no idea how grateful we all are. I don't know how to thank you." Sam hugged her. "He means everything to us, I don't know what we'd do without him. Please, come back anytime, you are always welcome here."

"You can continue to mature as a race. With maturity comes knowledge. With knowledge comes understanding, and with that understanding you will be a valuable asset to the alliance." Anteus told them. General Hammond left to escort the Nox to the gateroom.

Later that evening, Sam was sitting with Janet by Jack's bedside. They were both tired, but neither wanted to leave in case Jack woke up. Daniel came in and joined the women.

"Hi Sam, Janet. How's he doing?" Daniel asked. He went and stood by Janet and put his arm around her. Janet looked up at him and smiled. Sam looked at both of them confused.

"Uh...did I miss something?" Sam questioned.

Janet gave a small laugh. "Yes, I guess you did. But it's just in the trying it out stage, we don't really know what's going to happen."

"Oh wow. That's great you guys. I hope it all works out for you. You guys are just too cute together." Sam looked happily at the two. /You had better take care of her Daniel. I've had enough sadness for a lifetime/

"You want to get some coffee Janet?" Daniel asked.

"Um, I don't know if I should leave." She responded looking at Jack's monitor.

"No, Janet, go. If something happens I'll page you." Sam practically shoved the two out the door. "Really, go. We'll be fine." Janet and Daniel left and Sam returned to her vigil.

"Jack, you're going to be fine. The Nox came and they did that healing ritual. It will be a long time before you're back to normal, but in the end, you'll be the same old Jack O'Neill. Oh, Jack. I...I thought I was going to lose you." Sam was holding his hand, and with the other, she was stroking his hair. "I love you. I have loved you for a long time. I don't want to go on without you knowing, without actually saying it. It's so important to say it. I love you, Jack O'Neill. More than you can imagine." Sam put her head down on the stretcher next to his. She lay there listening to him breathe, and she felt relieved that she had finally shared the truth of her love for him.

"This...stubborn son...of a bitch...loves you, too." Jack whispered, his voice horse. He turned his head slightly to face Sam.  
Sam's head flew up, and she looked at Jack and smiled with tears streaming down her face. She climbed up on to the bed, placed her arms around Jack and snuggled close to him. "I know, Jack. I know." Sam fell asleep next to her commanding officer, and now, most importantly, the man she loved.

Finis

This story is dedicated to my mother, Gail, who loved science fiction. Many of the situations and conversations in this story are based on actual events that occurred while I watched my mother slowly lose her battle with this disease on January 1, 2005. It was difficult to write, but I hope you all have enjoyed it. I pray someday we have the technology and medicines to end any terrible disease that ends a life before it should. I miss you and I love you, Mom.

Author's notes— Great big honkin' thanks to Somnium for being a great beta. Wet sloppy kisses to Suekay and all the wonderful people at Stargate Intel; Mel, Shipaholic, SJShipperCathain, GateBee, UhSir, CatySG1, and Ambermoon for the great chats, encouragement and staying on me to update quickly, while also showing compassion, as they know how difficult this was for me to write. Cathain, thank you for the wonderful book cover and teasers. If I have forgotten anyone, sorry, you can slap me with a bendy ruler!


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